When the Dress Fits
By Theresa Shay
This is the first part in a series on body image and scoliosis.
I’ve learned a new word, dysmorphia. After the scoliosis conference BioniCon, a conversation emerged among attendees about body dysmorphia. According to AI,
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental health condition characterized by an intense, obsessive preoccupation with one or more perceived, minor, or imaginary flaws in physical appearance.
The nose that’s “too big”, the toes that are “too stubby”, the teeth hidden by closed-lip smiling…I can think of many body parts one could have an intense, obsessive preoccupation with. With a scoliosis diagnosis, especially one involving large curves or long scar from spinal fusion surgery, the particulars of physical appearance go beyond perceived, minor, or imaginary. On our wellness journey, we come to realize these characteristics are not flaws. They are reality and invitation.
Like everyone who seeks to connect with the body they’ve been given, I’ve had a journey meeting mine.
My curve is a long thoraco-lumbar curve involving much of my spine. This creates a head that lives off center, shirts that drift down my low shoulder, a twisted torso that torques and plays along my body from head to toe, and ridge and valley topography on my back.
During my bracing years of high school, navigating my body and body image was far from conscious. My strategy was to dress in large, baggy clothes that hung loose enough no one could see the edges of my brace from any side, then go about my life.
This habit lasted into adulthood.
When I met my husband, before he was my husband, he brought to my attention that the clothes I chose were far too big for my shape. I hadn’t realized how much I was doing this. I took off the green quarter zip from LL Bean I was wearing that day to investigate. Size extra large. “You probably could use a medium,” Glenn explained.
It takes a willing heart and courageous mind to step toward healing. Healing is what I wanted, and transformation is what I sought.
A few years later when Glenn and I decided to get married, the clothing and body image situation came to a head. I returned home in tears after trying on wedding dresses.
“None of them look good on me,” I explained.
Glenn said the most healing thing. “Find a dress that expresses on the outside how you feel on the inside about marrying me.”
Everything shifted.
That was the answer, and this is the dress. I love it still.
This story was first shared on Instagram. Hear Theresa tell the story here.
Theresa Shay is the founding director of TriYoga of Central Pennsylvania, where she teaches weekly yoga and meditation online and trains others to teach TriYoga®. Each week, she shares wisdom cultivated from decades of TriYoga study and practice.
Learn more about her here. Theresa can be reached at Theresa@PennsylvaniaYoga.com. Find her on Instagram @theresa_of_triyoga for more inspiration and light.